How to influence your loved ones?

How does a sailboat sail upwind?

33°56’04.6″N 35°34’33.5″E

It is almost difficult to imagine that a sailboat could leave shore when the wind is coming from the opposite direction. In fact, sailing upwind is all about understanding the physical forces hitting the sail of the boat and maneuvering the sail’s rotation to get the resulting pushing force needed.

A sailboat never sails directly upwind: it would be entering the no-sail zone, where the boat will stand idle and not move at all. Sailing upwind would require the boat to follow a curved path varying between 40-45 degrees while rotating the sail.

Steering a boat towards a specific destination is similar to making a change happen in someone else’s life. 

How can you influence and trigger change in someone else’s life?

You should know that we may all speak the same language, but we almost never fully understand each other. What might seem rational, simple and basic to you might be the total opposite to the person sitting next to you.

Changing someone you care for is not your responsibility, influencing him is.

elias soueidi
1. Find the North

This step is about defining the ultimate goal, a clear vision of where the person is heading.
It is about finding the other person’s north and not yours. Make sure you see the vision from his perspective.

Although the goal might look the same, but the vision of a bride losing weight for her wedding is not the same as the athlete who wants to optimize her performance.

Be the Leader you wish you had

simon sinek
2. Create an Influence

Creating an Influence might be the hardest thing to do in this case. You need to be smart and specific. The influence you are about to create should not look like an intervention. It is an indirect factor that will regroup parameters around the person involved, offering him support, motivation and inspiration.
Consider yourself a leader and your goal is to make that other person follow you without using authority or dictating what should be done.

A watched pot never boils

elizabeth gaskell
3. Watch the Sail

Do not obsess about results, and do not wait for immediate reactions. Watch the sail from a far; watch the beautiful journey on which that person is about to embark.

Leave a Reply

Create a website or blog at